i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
