i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
