I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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