I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
