So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i dont even know how to be here
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
