i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
