She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
