it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
