I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
