I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
