do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
