Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
