and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
