did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
