I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
