Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
