you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
don't judge my taste in strippers
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize