walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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