I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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