so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
