I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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