I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize