I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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