Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
