so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
