90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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