Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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