Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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