Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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