I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
