Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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