she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
