Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
