Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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