I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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