I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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