Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
