So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize