I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize