So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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