Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
