My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize