Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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