Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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