What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
