College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
