I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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