why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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