You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
