Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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