My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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