whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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