Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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