Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
