i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize