You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
