Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
