I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
