So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
If its not for food we ain't going out.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
