yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
40s are totally the cure
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
