How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
