some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
