Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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