if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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