How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
