just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize