My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
