it wasn't lemon gatorade
Say something about gay babies.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
