The maid of honor just puked.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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