i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
