id be glad to
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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