I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
