He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Randomize
