Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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