What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
