so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
