craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
